Jenna Birch’s new book sat on my desk for months before I could bear to open it. “The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love” is about why smart, successful independent women — the type of women men profess to want — have trouble finding steady relationships. For years my single girlfriends and I have been told by the men we date: You’re everything I’m looking for, but I just don’t feel it. Or: You’re great, but I’m just not ready for a relationship. We’ve heard the same refrains for decades, in breakup talks with men in their 20s, 30s, even their 40s. I didn’t want to open the book because it felt too close to home.